daydreaming

nothing hurts more than, when someone says,
''I'm not angry with you, I'm disappointed.''

*****

I thought about it early yesterday morning. like picking up scaterred pieces of broken glass. what the hell is this? dripping for my finger? is this what we really hoped for? I knew it at the bottom of my heart, the hardest choice would be the best my conscience refuses it and repeats its rejection. when can I admit it to you? in this slowly decaying world, I'm struggling, but it's the only way. carving your faded smiles. I remember the season we first met. and your graceful smile bringing up old issues, we hurt each other as much as possible our minds are full of thor. with this never ending dull relationship, frustated that I cant change my mind. I still love you. I dont wanna be apart from you. but I've to tell you, my thoughts are clouded, I'm stunned, standing dead, my vision blurry, despite my determintation, the pain is still penetrating. the bond between us has come apart, and is dying a bit everyday.

it's hard being left behind, it's hard to be the one who stays, you left me when you're the most I need. it's you, it's always been you, since the very first time you made me smile. it's not about how much you love me, it's about you'll leave me or not, because even you decide to let go, a part of you still won't.
when you're alone, unmood, and need someone to talk to, call or text me, I'll be your mood booster, anytime you want, I'm here for you.
now, we're separated, but God has told me, if the truth is that someday, we could be.... ah I cant say it, seems like too much hoping. I do believe in "someday", it depends on the time, and I'll wait until the right time comes.
you're not my boyfriend anymore but I'm still remember his smile, his advice, his love, his kindness, and the times we laugh together. I care about all the shits about you baby! I cant get you outta my head.
God is good because He was gave me an angel like you, but now you've been left, is God still good?
but I trust my heart and I let God and fate decide. I'm hoping, I'm dreaming, I'm craving, I'm begging but you leaving. you dont know how much it hurts, you're still mine, emotionally.
I texted you, I said that I miss you, but you dont wanna reply it, you let me wait, I'll be baby, I'm still craving I have a message from you when I am wake up in the morning, Gaz!

amelea (•ˆ⌣ˆ•)