woo yaa dag dig dug dorrrr !!!!
how are you my readers ? lama banget ada kali 2 bulan-an ya gue ga ngeblog. dr tgl 10 Juni sampe hari ini 21 Agustus. gilaaaaa bnr2 kangen bgt sama blog gue ini ukukuku.
well, berarti banyak banget juga hal-hal yg terjadi selama 2 bulan lebih itu *alah* hmm apa iya gue ceritain satu-satu gitu? ngga usah aja kali ya wkwk
kalo ngeliat dari garis besar-nya sih (eaa garis besar jaree :p) :
1. lulus sekolah.
yah finally, akhirnya gue udah bukan seorang siswa lagi men! gue udah jauh dari rutinitas bangun pagi, garap PR, bolos, dan sebangsanya itu yay gue seneng bgt dong gila aja udah lebih dari 3/4 hidup gue, gue lewatin sama yang namanya sekolah. yah walopun sebenernya gue sih kadang-kadang kangen sama semua itu u,u tapi yang bener-bener ngga gue sangka-sangka (termasuk orang lain) nilai UN gue lumayan bagus loh, gue aja dapet ranking ke-3 di kelas (Y)
2. liburan ke Bandung.
yay! akhirnya datang juga waktu liburan gue saat itu. bokap nurutin kemauan gue yang pengen bgt ke Bandung. disana ada kali 1 minggu, yah ngga full di Bandung sih. gue juga ke Jakarta dan DUFAN :DDD yay gue udah nyobain Hysteria dongse :p pas di Bandung nginep di rumah temen bokap, trus jalan-jalan, belanja-belanja gitu. dan ada rencana mau ketemu sama si Obby & Kak Dera, tapi gajadi karena bokap ga kasih ijin. di malah nanyain si... ah gajadi deh takut galu lagi u,u
3. STAN yah karena proses USM nya yang terlalu lama, keburu gue jamuran di rumah ga ada kesibukkan, akhirnya nyokap gue putusin buat kuliahin gue di tempat lain. oh what the hell ? gue ga mau kuliah selain di STAN. tapi nyokap gue kekeh bgt mau kuliahin gue di Surabaya. tapi sama aja ternyata nyokap gue udah daftarin gue kuliah di UPH. the best damned thing! AAA dan kuliahnya baru aktif ntar 1 Oktober uh uh uh fuckkkkkk!!!
4. kerja (y).
yah gue sekarang udah kerja dong kawan-kawan!!! gue nerima tawaran tante gue buat kerja di kafe tmepat dia kerja juga, dimana itu? jeng jeng jeng di Excelso yih yih yihaaaa!!! udah pegang duit sendiri sekarang gue mah udah gada lagi kata bokek di hidup gue *amin* :D
5. new hair!
yay yay yeay yeah yeah yeahs!!! smoothing, rambut gue sekarang jadi lurus dong <(///.^)>
6. "itu tuh".
yah yah yah bahas ngga yah? gue suka sih ngebahas tentang "itu tuh" tapi gue takutnya ntar gue jadi galau huhuhuhu semakin lama semakin kesel ama "itu tuh" maunya apa coba masa yah gue ngerasa bgt di tarik ulur berasa kaya layangan. lengkap bgt dah yg di kasih ama "itu tuh" gue ya di php-in, nyepik doang, gue ya dibikin galau terus, di bikin cemburu terus, ah banyak deh :( blgnya masih sayang sama gue tapi kenapa kok kaya gitu coba. ga pernah apa yah dia sekali-sekali galau-in gue gitu? skrg "itu tuh" lagi suka sama cewe lain, gue jadi dicuekin, udah gitu nge-update tentang cewe demenannya yang baru di twitter sama fbnya. dulu aje gue mana pernah di galau-in gitu. sante ga ada sms dari gue, lah yg sekarang? sms ga di bales, update twitter, eh btw dia punya niknem loh buat demenannya yg baru itu, 'cc' soswit yah gue jadi envy hhh
*****
hmm udah deh itu aja yang gue share udah cukup mau tidur lagiiiii udah ngantuk bgtbgtbgt hoaahhmm, sleeping beauty :*
***** FIN *****
amelea (•ˆ⌣ˆ•)
I wrote this as my note in my Facebook, at Thursday, June 2, 2011 at 12:04am
*****
you dont want me anymore. you dont need me anymore. you want a new one who'll make you happy beside her. yeah I know that, you just fooling around with me. it never made sense for you to love me, I always knew that.
my friends used to tell me that you're not as good as I guess. I think, I should know, if you're good, you wont leave.
we've liked, we've loved each other. we've been hurted. but we wont have our happily ever after. and God has told us that we have to leave without turning back.
MOVING ON? it is not about not loving you anymore and then forgetting you. I know it's hard, but I have to. moving on is when I had the strength to say "I still love you, but you're not worth this pain". yes! I said it!
every ending is just another beginning. I'm not gonna forget you, I'm just let the condition go with the flow. what it will be whether good or worst. maybe it's the best for us, we both had a worth life.
I'm young, my life is too short if I just fill it with sadness and just thinking about you. I got life to do. life must go on with or without you. dont worry, I'll be fine here, I'll cure this pain by myself. if we were born to be fate, we'll be what God want.
good bye my sweetheart, you're gonna be living in my precious memory. we have to leave without turning back. just once, if I could have my wish come true, I'd be born again and again to see you on those days. in my deepest heart, I'm gonna "missing you" and always mention your name in my every heartbeat.. thanks for everything, thanks for the best long distance relationship in the virtual world that I ever had, with you, Helmigas Kuntoajie :)
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and I sent this to my ex in the same date!! oh how pathetic am I ?
*****
why you said that your love to me wont ever die? when you know that's only a lie! why you made me trust? that it's love not a lust! days were gone and I'm still standing on. a heartbreak is fucking enough to me, now you want to have me replaced. I swear that shit hurts more than a break up!
too much hopes, dreams, PLANS, memories, PROMISES that you gave to me. it's so hard and maybe cannot be forgotten..
and I think I'm tired of this. I'm waiting for nothing. you made me so hopeless. you made me 'fly', you give me 'wings', then you 'cut' it. you act like you dont ever know me, oh what the hell you did?
I'm sorry if I hurt you, I'm sorry I cant be the best, but it's who I am. I'm gonna miss you, you'll be living in my precious memory, in deepest of my heart. thanks for every single thing, thanks for the best long distance relationship in the virtual world that I ever had, with you. I'm gonna missing you, and I'm move :)
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I AM NOT GONNA MOVE! HOW CAN I'M MOVE ON WHEN I'VE BEEN IN LOVE WITH YOU ?amelea (•ˆ⌣ˆ•)
Lately I've been thinking 'bout what I can do
I've been stressing to fall back in love with you
I'm so sorry that I couldn't follow through
But I can't go on this way
I've got to stop it babe
You've been wonderful in all that you can be
But it hurts when you say that you understand me
So believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I, I
I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you
I've been pushing hard to open up the door
Trying to take us back to where we were before
But I'm done I just can't do this anymore
Cause we can't be mended
So let's stop pretending now
We've been walking round in circles for some time
And I think we should head for the finish line
So believe me I, I am sorry I.. I am sorry I, I
I wanted you to be there when I fall
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need
I wanted you to know just how down deep
I wanted you, I wanted you, yeah
I, I I'm so sorry baby but
I, I I've got to pack up and leave but
I, I'll always remember how we came close to be
And what I wanted to be
I wanted you baby
Oooooh Yeahh
I wanted you
I wanted, I wanted you
I wanted you to be there when I fall (I wanted you to be there, yeahhh)
I wanted you to see me through it all
I wanted you to be the one I love (Ooh ooh)
I wanted you, I wanted you (I wanted you oh)
I wanted you to hold me in my sleep
I wanted you to show me what I need (I wanted you to know me just how down deep yeah)
I wanted you to know just how down deep (I wanted you to know just how)
I wanted you, I wanted you
I wanted you
I.. I wanted you, I wanted you
*****amelea (•ˆ⌣ˆ•)
you are the only boy that is ever on my mind, ever since the day I met you.
I am the girl that you only think about when you see me.
you are the boy I go to bed crying over.
because of what you did to me that day.
I am the girl you think you never hurt.
you are the boy I wake up thinking about, smiling..
because I know I'll get to see you that day.
I am the girl who has that one huge smile only for you..
but you never pay attention to.
you are the boy that I look for when I walk into a room.
I am the girl you come to when everyone else is already in a conversation.
you are the boy I speed up to walk beside in the hallways.
I am the girl that you say "hi" to and keep walking.
you are the boy I want to talk to every hour, of every day.
I am the girl you have two second conversations with, then stop talking.
you are the boy I could just sit with for hours, just talking, never wanting to leave.
I am the girl you mumble a few words to, wanting to be gone in a second.
you are the boy who thinks I am the most annoying person you've ever meet.
I am the girl that tries my hardest to please you.
you are the boy if I dont see for a day my day turn out to be an incomplete and miserable day.
I am the girl that could be gone for two years and you would hardly even notice.
you are the boy I just keep chasing.
I am the girl that so badly, wants to catch you.
you are the boy who doesnt want to fall for me :"/
I am the girl that becomes stupid when near you.
you are the boy that every cheerleader wants to go out with.
I am the unpopular girl that constantly stares at you from far way.
you are the boy that doesnt reply back to my texts.
and here I a am, the girl that's been wanting you ever since.
*****amelea (•ˆ⌣ˆ•)
nothing hurts more than, when someone says,
''I'm not angry with you, I'm disappointed.''
*****
I thought about it early yesterday morning. like picking up scaterred pieces of broken glass. what the hell is this? dripping for my finger? is this what we really hoped for? I knew it at the bottom of my heart, the hardest choice would be the best my conscience refuses it and repeats its rejection. when can I admit it to you? in this slowly decaying world, I'm struggling, but it's the only way. carving your faded smiles. I remember the season we first met. and your graceful smile bringing up old issues, we hurt each other as much as possible our minds are full of thor. with this never ending dull relationship, frustated that I cant change my mind. I still love you. I dont wanna be apart from you. but I've to tell you, my thoughts are clouded, I'm stunned, standing dead, my vision blurry, despite my determintation, the pain is still penetrating. the bond between us has come apart, and is dying a bit everyday.
it's hard being left behind, it's hard to be the one who stays, you left me when you're the most I need. it's you, it's always been you, since the very first time you made me smile. it's not about how much you love me, it's about you'll leave me or not, because even you decide to let go, a part of you still won't.
when you're alone, unmood, and need someone to talk to, call or text me, I'll be your mood booster, anytime you want, I'm here for you.
now, we're separated, but God has told me, if the truth is that someday, we could be.... ah I cant say it, seems like too much hoping. I do believe in "someday", it depends on the time, and I'll wait until the right time comes.
you're not my boyfriend anymore but I'm still remember his smile, his advice, his love, his kindness, and the times we laugh together. I care about all the shits about you baby! I cant get you outta my head.
God is good because He was gave me an angel like you, but now you've been left, is God still good?
but I trust my heart and I let God and fate decide. I'm hoping, I'm dreaming, I'm craving, I'm begging but you leaving. you dont know how much it hurts, you're still mine, emotionally.
I texted you, I said that I miss you, but you dont wanna reply it, you let me wait, I'll be baby, I'm still craving I have a message from you when I am wake up in the morning, Gaz!amelea (•ˆ⌣ˆ•)
